Dear Zelda

Dear Zelda, I feel a bit foolish writing to someone whom I’ve never met, nor never will meet. More importantly, I feel foolish for writing a letter about an experience I haven’t encountered personally nor could even imagine. All I know is that I love my father.

 Even as I write the sentence, I feel my breaths grow deep and deliberate. I cannot construct, yet have often wondered, what my life would be like at the moment of losing someone so deeply influential to me Your father was an incredible man. A thousand people could say so and still be insufficient to describe how much.

 He embodied the child in all of us, and as we watched him, and grew close to him on the screen, we little understood the cost it exacted upon him. Forgive us. We loved him like a father, or perhaps a crazy uncle. He was the sad clown of an American dream; the person who could stare our deepest fears dead in the eye and laugh. He spent his life in front of all of us; acknowledging doubt, war, sickness, weakness, loss; the greatest fears and voids that live within the American psyche. But we also turned to him for insight; for reflection; for a smile. We stood on the cliff with him and asked what this great journey had in store for us; why it was worth the cost.

I will long marvel on the way in which celebrities seem to impact our everyday lives. I will stand amazed at how they exist as people we have never met, yet as those we feel deeply we know and love. And judge. People who are struck with troubles that lay outside our own sphere. But I think we will be hard-pressed to insist that a man like Robin exists outside our own experience. That we can somehow separate his pain from our pain, even as we embrace his joy as our joy. 

As I said before, I feel silly trying to declare something about your situation, but I will declare this; Robin Williams was the voice of a people fearful of acknowledging their own doubts. He was the voice of hope in a generation that lived in a shadow of uncertainty. Whatever messages you may receive from the embittered and poisoned people of this world, let me say that your father empowered the waning hearts of an entire world of cynics. We watched him in hospitals and tree trunks, in oil lamps and psych offices, in dreams, in classrooms, and in livingrooms, proudly declaring to the world that life was worth laughing about. Whatever his troubles, whatever his fears, he was a person to whom love meant something greater than I can describe. 

Once again, please forgive me for my presumptions upon him. My thoughts are with you and your loved ones at the epicenter of this great loss, and please know that I and many others are there for you in what little capacity we may have.

Why Motivation Is Important For You

Motivation is the driving factor in every industry but mostly in the business market. A company would work well if its employees are motivated and encouraged at every step and this can be done by providing them rewards and incentives which will also create an atmosphere of competence. Generally the industries demand for workers who are highly motivated and are self confident because only then they can motivate others and create a positive environment in the industry. But people who lack self confidence land in nothing because they can hardly face the audience and present themselves in front of others. They fumble and are overly apologetic which is a minus point for getting a project. Rather individuals who have good vocabulary and speaking skills and have their heads held high while presenting themselves are the ones who achieve success in life. They inspire confidence in others and their actions speak louder than words. 

An industry demands such people who have an experience of market, are self motivated and can gain the confidence of others by their influencing body language and speech. An individual gains confidence when he continuously achieves goals and masters skills that are required in a particular field or area. Hard work is the key to success and people who accept difficult challenges and thrive to achieve the best results are the ones who achieve success in life. Self efficacy and self esteem are two important factors that decide the confidence of an individual. Rewards and incentives provided by the owner also motivate the employees working in the company. Self confidence is not a quick fix and one will obviously take time to develop the skills. People who struggle to in this regard are the ones who suffer badly when it comes to getting a good job because today the industries demand a good personality, body language and communication skills apart from the technical knowledge of the subject.

20 Life-changing things I learned from Robert Glover's book 'No More Mr. Nice Guy'

First, let me preface this by saying that I used to pride myself on being such a nice person. I still think that being nice on some levels is important and there is no point in being a dick for the sake of it, but Glover's book goes so much deeper than this.

A typical Nice Guy is someone who:

• Puts others' needs above his
• Tries to be perfect and hide his flaws
• Is not respected and gets taken advantage of
• Is afraid to take risks and challenge himself
• Is uncomfortable expressing what they really feel or think

One of the most interesting parts of this book was Glover's talk about 'childhood abandonment experiences'. Most Nice Guys had a distant father-figure in their childhood. Children naturally become distressed at not having their emotional needs met, and thus as a survival mechanism they try to eliminate their needs in order to receive love in return. However, if this quality sticks around into adulthood, it can cripple your professional, social, and romantic relationships. Humans are naturally selfish to some degree, so it is incredibly unhealthy if you approach relationships with an expectation that putting others first will earn you love or affection.

All in all, I highly recommend reading the book for yourself (I'm sure someone can find the ebook online and post a link to it). I can't tell you enough how much this book has helped me to recognize what has been holding me back from getting what I want. The alternative to being a Nice Guy is not to be an asshole, but instead to be someone who is self-assured, empowered, and goes after what they want.

1. Develop integrity; be honest and truthful in all interactions
2. Don’t be afraid of the world or trying new things
3. Learn to surrender yourself and let go of what you can’t change
4. Do what YOU want to do instead of trying to constantly please others
5. Learn how to receive and ask for help without feeling guilty or uncomfortable
6. Recognize that you and everyone else is human, has flaws, and makes mistakes
7. Stop trying to be perfect and flawless
8. Stop seeking approval and external validation
9. Learn to approve of yourself, and treat yourself to the things you deserve
10. Stop building walls that prevent others from getting too close
11. Stop trying to cover-up or distract attention from any perceived shortcoming
12. Reflect on the childhood events and conditions that influence how you act today
13. Set boundaries to prevent people from disrespecting or taking advantage of you
14. Learn to be clear, direct, and expressive with your feelings
15. Spend more time around men in order to develop your masculine energy
16. Recognize that women reject nice guys because they perceive them as weak
17. Learn to be more passionate, assertive, independent, and responsible
18. Stop putting pressure on yourself to do everything ‘right’
19. Don’t let fear of failure or fear of success stop you from living the life you’ve imagined
20. Make a conscious decision to make your own rules and not settle for mediocrity

Robin Williams' death really bothered me

I am not suicidal. I am not feeling like I've lost direction in life. I am not pleading for the world to make sense. I just think it's interesting to reflect on how we make life decisions.

This post isn't about how I lost a childhood idol, or how saddened I am by the death of someone who brought joy to others. I could care less about Robin Williams himself. Nothing against the man but he never stuck out to me as one of my favorite actors. Instead, this post is about introspection, and how his suicide made me question my worldviews.

Let me give some background.

I am currently in a university under a healthcare major. Two years ago, I took a class called Introduction to Research in which we some of our laboratory based professors volunteered to come in and talk about their research projects and life experiences. One professor gave a presentation about his research on aggression. It was a strange topic -- how do you do research on aggression? How do you take data on aggression, quantify it, and publish an article in a reputable scientific journal?

The basic premise behind the project used mice. Place a single mouse into a safe environment, feed it, clean it, and after a few weeks it will be very content with its surroundings. The researcher then introduces a second mouse into the system. The host mouse will inspect the intruder, sniff it, circle it, and amazingly, without fail, they will begin to fight after a short period of time. Repeat this experiment over and over again with wild type mice and the fights will always happen. Aggression is then "measured" by several factors: how long it from introduction of the mouse to the system for the first fight to happen, how long the fights go on for, how many fights they have within a certain timeframe, etc.

But... if you repeat this experiment with a certain gene knockout mice line, the fights never happen. Feed it, clean it, and introduce an intruder weeks later and somehow this gene KO mouse will never attack the intruder. All of the control group (wild type) fought, and none of the experimental group (gene KO) fought. This is a huge difference.

So what are the implications of these results? Why am I telling you this?

These results suggest that there is something in a mouse genome that codes for aggression. And on a biochemical level, it suggests there is something in DNA that codes for aggression. Something in our genome produces something... a protein? A change in cell communication? SOME biomarker that causes us to change our behavior.

I might’ve gotten some details about the research project wrong, but this summary is roughly right. It really made me think. I had been going through a tough breakup at the time and this presentation put me into what I like to call a mini existential crisis. How much of what we do is controlled by our own thoughts and decisions? Versus how much of what we do is controlled by a balance (or imbalance) of neurotransmitters and hormones?

Our professor went on to give some more bioethics questions for us to think about. Suppose a man who has provided for his family and has always been an overall good person suddenly changes his behavior. One day, he sexually assaults a child. His family leaves him, he's never allowed to see his kids again, and he goes to prison. On the first day of prison, he gets a massive headache and gets rushed to the hospital to find he has a large tumor on his pituitary gland causing a massive imbalance of hormones. After removal, he reverts to his old self. He gradually begins to understand his criminal actions, how he has lost his family, how his life is ruined. For the first time, he shows remorse. What do you do with this individual? Do you keep him in prison? Do you release him only to risk something similar happening again?

Now let's apply this to Robin Williams.

He has been one of the faces of comedy for a long time. On screen, he brings joy to so many people. I understand he likely had some mental illness that messed up his balance of hormones and neurotransmitters, causing him to feel deeply deeply depressed. Three days ago he hung himself with a belt.

What's stopping like this from happening to my family, my friends, me, or even you? I want to think I am self aware. I want to think my family and friends are self aware (at least the ones I like). When my actions are decided not by my values and philosophies that I have learned and refined over my lifetime, but rather by my genome or current balance of neurotransmitters, how can I say that I am self aware?

How can I become a role model for a younger brother when, for all I know, he has extra repeats of a gene that makes him more predisposed to rape, murder, or suicide?

If I get into a car accident and get a concussion and my biochemical balance in my brain is skewed, am I really myself anymore?

Again: I am not suicidal. I am not feeling like I've lost direction in life. I am not pleading for the world to make sense. I just think it's interesting to reflect on how we make life decisions. There is no purpose to this post other than to open a part of my values and philosophies to the world.

Thanks for reading.

Furion and Rizzrak

I’ve been working on this thing for the past three days straight!  I got this crazy idea for how I wanted everything in the scene to be happening in the shower the other day, and trying to get it all composed in this stupid aspect ratio was kind of a pain, and then I had to do it all on extremely short notice and yeah.

Anyway, here is Furion and Rizzrak being rude to each other.  Now I finally know who he’s facing down in that other picture.

A True Martyr

This is one of those “I scrolled down hoping for an explanation” things

Dude went to a Magic: The Gathering tournament and saw a whole lot of ass hanging out and decided to have fun with it.

This dude is also banned from said tournament because this photoset got so popular and it was considered insulting to the players…….

A true martyr.

Jack Gleeson Good vs. Evil

Jack talks about Good vs. Evil guys. Since so many people hate his evil character, you know he’s doing something right!